remember

outside of angell hall:

guy 1 to guy 2: "remember that gangbang we had last night?"

what do you do?

upstairs at Zingerman's:

guy to girl:  "I'm the kind of person who does what I do."

overheard by bob.

skunk nipples

Girl to friend: well, I mean, skunks do have nipples....

On the corner of Fourth and Liberty.

Happy Halloween

Overheard before first discussion section for a class

Girl: Do I know you from somewhere?

Guy: uh.. maybe?

Girl: Didn't you come to my Halloween party dressed as the Pillsbury Doughboy?

Guy: No.

Male or Female?

Drunk Woman: "I like gay porn!"

Woman at neighboring table, leaning over: "Male or female?"

at Conor O'Neill's.

From the Outside

Near the Angell hall auditoriums looking into the Fishbowl:

Guy1: Is this the Fishbowl?
Guy2: Yeah...
Guy1: How do you get into it?

overheard by kevin.

Rarely

At a doctor's office:

Woman 1: How do you spell "rarely"?
Woman 2: R-A-I-R-L-E-E...here, maybe I should fill that out.

overheard by "office dog."

Happy Holidays

Guy: How was your New Year's Eve?

Girl: I went to this friend from high school's house. I mean, her parents were there but they didn't care; they just told us to keep it downstairs. Well this kid that I didn't even know goes upstairs and pukes all over just as he reaches the top. Her parents came and took everything. We hid one thing, but after that it was dumb because everyone was just throwing up.

Guy: Freshmen.

Heart Palpatations

In Starbucks, on State St.:

I think my drink’s giving me heart palpatations.

Jewland

At the mall:

Mother to her 3 kids: “It doesn’t matter if they come from Jewland, they’re still Americans.”

overheard by philip.

Watch out for those stairs

Girl on Phone: Oh my God, that party last night (Thursday) was awesome! You were WASTED!! Do you remember falling down the stairs? It was so funny!

Parking Ticket

in Espresso Royale on State St.

"The cop is probably pulling him over to give him a parking ticket..."

overheard by jason.

Famous Designers

at NYPD -

a freshman: "My favorite designers are Gucci, Versace and Bernoulli"

Bernoulli being the physicist/mathematician.

overheard by jason.

The (Great?) Aristotle

on the Diag -

Lyndon LaRouche activist in conversation with young student couple: Well, what is so good about Aristotle?

overheard by saint.

Facebook Stalking

on the Diag

Girl #1: I hate being stalked over facebook. They're also creepy guys that I'm not interested in. They are just wasting their time and mine.
Girl #2: It can't be that bad, can it???
Girl#1: You don't understand you're not pretty like me.
(Girl #2 lowers her head dejected)

overheard by Kolby

Bourgeoi Ghetto

Boy (from parking lot after fight with GF): I'm gonna slash your tires and no one will know who did it.
Girl (from 3rd floor apt): Oh yeah...well my dad's a lawyer!
Boy (still in parking lot): Oh yeah? Well my dad's a millionaire!

Class!

overheard by matt

Fireflies

Both heard in the same night:

Orientation Student #1: Oh, look! It's one of those bugs that light up!
Orientation Student #2: You mean fireflies?

and if that isn't bad enough...

UM Swimming Camper: Whoa! They have fireflies here! I thought those're only in Virginia now!

Time Off

A nicely dressed guy and girl walk past the patio at the Arena

Girl: I think it's good that we only hang out for short periods of time......don't you?

Guy:


overheard by eric j.

Russian saying?

Russian employee: You can't count your eggs until you put them in the pudding!
Female employee: uh-huh

-Office building off of State St.

overheard by kate.

16-bit Love

Guy one: I would totally do Chun Li
Guy two: Dude... she's a fictional videogame character
Guy one: I don't care, she's smoking hot
Guy two: whatever, she's onlly 16 bit.

-also on bus to North Campus

overheard by eric.